Why Tumblr and Twitter are my new friends.

Date posted: Thursday July 23rd, 2009 || Filed under: Addictions || 3 Comments

So, I’ve realized in the past few days I’ve been slacking on the ol’ blog front. For a while, and on a normal basis, I’m pretty good with blogging at least everyday if not every other day. To be quite honest, its because I’ve become addicted (more so than usual) with Tumblr and Twitter. Here’s the logic behind my thoughts…

I have been using Tumblr for some time now, but just lately have been using it a lot more. Granted, I don’t have hundreds of uploads or “blogs” on Tumblr necessarily but I’ve seen a growing average of usage.

I have discovered that I don’t have to sit there and write lots. I can just post one picture, with no words, and be done with it. No explanation. No reasoning. No captions. Granted yes, I could do that here, but would it work? I mean honestly, would you really want to sit there and click next page, next page, next page… through what will end up being thousands of pages? Doubtful. So the question lies, “Nikkole, why don’t you change it so you show more than one entry per page?” I heard, and I’m not 100% on this, but Google Adsense doesn’t like that. Normally, I have ads on this blog (in hopes I’ll make more than $0.20 on it for some god awful reason) but as of late WordPress doesn’t want to show them (using the pluggin that I have) So whatever, I’m getting off topic – what’s new, right? Tumblr! I have only a few followers – which is fine – but the people I keep coming across really speak to me. Lately I’ve found a few girls that also have bipolar, and everything they post, I can relate to. Its nice to have someone say something that makes complete and utter sense to me; unlike when I try to say it and people are like “Huh?”

Needless to say, I like using it. I, on most occasions, use it for the countless random shit I find on StumbleUpon and feel like I just HAVE to share. Otherwise, I like to reblog a lot of the stuff that my new ‘followees’ are posting because I can relate to the same thing.

Twitter, ahh yes. Who doesn’t love good ol’ Twitter now a days, right? Honestly I tweet about the most random, crazy ass shit there is to say. If it’s on my mind, it gets tweeted. If I need to say something to someone, and can’t say it to their face, it gets tweeted. If I have to scream at the top of my lungs how I feel, it gets tweeted… See the trend? I have also made a lot of really cool friends on there – None in which I will never meet in real life, but they’re interesting people to say the least.

In all honesty, I use Twitter for a lot of different reasons. I read tweets from people that live right in my backyard (in Milwaukee). I love reading about what other people do in this city – what I’m missing out on, and what I don’t need to ever do. I use it to catch a lot of deals and such that you can find in various places online because you never know what kind of shit you can find online dirt cheap. I’ve also used it for the newest sweepstakes. I have a couple of my personal, real life (if you will, make me sound like the biggest computer nerd, having no life kinda person) friends that are on there too.

So, whats the point of this entry? Two things: (1) I have no life. I sit online all day long while I blog, or tweet, or post on Tumblr (not to count the countless shit I also feel the need to share on Facebook. (2) To say that I really do lead two separate lives.

Facebook has all my family and “friends” on it. I don’t want everyone knowing the complete inner workings of Nikkole because they always feel they need to put in their damn two cents. They don’t understand bipolar, they don’t understand anything really. They think they’re helping when in reality they’re making it far worse.

My blog, which isn’t known by anyone personal aside from a few, very few select few. I write long, pointless rants and raves on here. When I really need to get something deep off my chest and it consists more of just one photo, quote, or 140 characters. This has always been my outlet.

Twitter and Tumblr – I can be myself. 100%, complete, real, Nikkole. All the bitching, complaining, whining, and non-stop just crap. People always tell me that I’m always negative, I need a positive outlook on life so I can be happy – well folks, I’m sorry but that’s not who I am. I have NEVER been like that. I’m a realist. I look at things REALISTICALLY and think about them LOGICALLY. Although I have my share of ‘haters’ and bastards who can’t keep their words to themselves on Twitter, I can just be me. I can post something I think is cute, funny, heart breaking, and/or true.

So, this leads me to my final note:

I read all these articles about how you should watch what you say online. You don’t want that to come back and haunt you. You need to watch what you say to the world. “Would you stand in front of 300 people in real life and tell them your deepest darkest secrets? No? Then why do you do it online?” I hear these things and realize that online – I’m an open book. I’ve ALWAYS been an open book online. Maybe its because I don’t have someone sitting there in front of me when I break down and start crying uncontrollably. Or they don’t see the rage I get in my eyes when I get so completely pissed off about something I could punch something, and usually do. Its like, screaming into your pillow… its a release, comforting.

Should I be worried that I post, very and extremely openly online my inner, personal thoughts, hopes, wishes, fears, and regrets? Sometimes I do worry, but majority of the time, I think to myself; This is who I am, inside and out. I can be who I am online, without the people in front of me to kick me down. I can push aside words on a screen instead of the words in front of me. I can hide my face, tears, or anger when I am behind my screen, but when you’re standing there watching my ever move – I’m vulnerable. Pretty sad, that I can’t even be ME in front of the people who are here in my life. There are very few, who see it all. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Eternal Amour, and ME … you are true friends. I trust you with my inner most workings, be grateful I choose you to open up to. Maybe not one on one open, but in words…

I sure turned this entry into something completely different, didn’t I. Goodnight folks. Enough random “mindless typing” for the night.