In the recent days, I’ve realized something. Mike has some pretty amazing friends. Sure, his friends are my friends, but they’re not like really my friends, ya know? We’re acquaintances. It’s not like I text them or message them privately, no. I talk to them when I’m in also in the presence of Mike too.

What Mike has is special. I want it. I need friends. I am sick of being the loner who doesn’t talk to anyone other than on a screen. Mike’s friend has a debt system – at least that’s what I call it. Let me give you a prime example.

Mike bought a parts car last weekend. He used Andy’s truck and trailer to pick up the car. He spent all day at Andy’s today working on the car, using his tools, parts, garage, Andy cooked food for all of us, etc. In exchange, Mike was asked to come tear up carpet tomorrow and help with his household stuff.

Myles and Andy got Mike a job at their company. Mike is forever indebted to them for providing this opportunity.

Myles works on his car, Mike offers his help no matter what because Myles lets Mike store his car at his garage free of charge all winter.

The debt system goes in greater depth… one that I’m not about to explain that.

The friendship isn’t just about the debt system, though.

They all have a connection. They speak to each other every single day, not just because they work together, (there is a fourth friend who doesn’t even work with them).

I need to get over myself. I need friends. I need to become more social. I need best friends. I’ve burned so many times before but not everyone is like that and I need to learn that. I need friends like Mike’s friends. Those who are there for you no matter what you need or do.

I’m really jittery right now. I’m having a hard time typing and keep having typos. I didn’t even have coffee like I wanted to when I came home from today.

I didn’t do shit off my to-do list. Tomorrow is going to be a day filled with cleaning, cleaning, and laundry. I have SO much to do. I have no idea what Mike’s plans are for tomorrow. Whether or not he’ll be going back by Andy’s all day to help clean up and get things put away. I guess I’m just going to end this here. I just wanted to randomly write that I think I’m ready to blossom into a social butterfly or at least into an insect that has at least one or two friends.

written on at 10:44 pm || Filed under: Friends, Struggles

2 Responses to “Trying Something New… We’ll See.”

  1. Sheri says:

    I know exactly how you feel, and I struggle with this as well. I don’t go to work or church so I don’t have much exposure to other/new people. I seem to be the initiator if I want to do something with one of the very few friends I have managed to make over the years. That makes me feel like they don’t really want to be around me, so I rarely contact them anymore. At the beginning of the year, I made a big effort to go out of my comfort zone to do new things and meet new people, but that just didn’t work for me. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a teleporter?

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