I’m sick of always coming here talking about how anxious I am about work. Today I’m not going to do that. I am going to talk about other things going on in my life. So buckle up, we’re doing something new today.

Nick’s Birthday

Nick’s birthday went well. He had a sleepover with his best friend, what I’ll call him, D. D showed up around 2:30 pm on Saturday (two weekends ago, it’s been a while since I’ve written). Within about 15 minutes the boys were arguing. Mainly Nick going “This is my party and I will do what I want! You will listen to me!” towards Mikhail. About 35 minutes in Mikhail demanded we order pizza for the night. I told the boys countless times before D came that we wouldn’t be ordering pizza until 6pm, well that didn’t happen. Mike was cleaning his car (WHICH IS RUNNING BY THE WAY!) and he planned on going to his buddy’s house and then go to a car event. Mikhail was talked into going with Mike so he was out of Nick & D’s hair. I ended up ordering pizza, which arrived around 5:30, just in time for Mikhail to grab a plate, wrap it in tinfoil and head out the door with Mike and Mike’s buddy.

They were gone about 40 minutes before Mikhail walked in the door because Mike dropped him off. He grew bored listening to the older guys talking about cars the entire time, so he came home. The boys all played together, fairly nicely, for the rest of the night. They played on the Xbox One, Xbox 360, hide-and-seek both in the dark and in the light, they watched Youtube videos and hung out all night. Mike was gone until late so it was just the boys and I. I went down to the basement to tell them it was time for bed around 11. Mikhail was curled up in one square of the couch, underneath bubble wrap for a blanket almost passed out. I woke him up and he muttered something about going right to bed without his tablet. The older boys went to Nick’s room and made videos for a while. It was about 12am when I headed to bed. Mike came home shortly after and told the boys “OK, lights out!” but they ended up talking and such until around 1:30am. It was a long night but we survived it! I took D home around 12pm the next day because I didn’t want to push my luck of having them being together too long and start fighting. Which tends to happen more times than not when it comes to them because Nick is a drama king. So overall, the sleepover was very successful and we now know Mom can handle three boys in the house if absolutely necessary. I think Nick prefers to sleep over at D’s house simply because his little brother isn’t there to bother him, ya know?

Cleaning

Today I’m spending the day cleaning. It needs to be done desperately. I’m mainly doing laundry today. I have gotten three loads washed so far. I’m procrastinating to go switch the load by writing this blog post. I suppose I should go switch it right away. BRB.

Ok. Laundry switched but not folded. I have two baskets sitting here that needed to be folded. Ugh. I hate folding clothes. I have about two to three more loads to do depending on if I wash the boy’s stuff or wait until this weekend to do their stuff. I usually wait until they have full loads before doing their clothes. Plus, I’m unsure I really want to do seven loads of laundry today.

I also have to put away the dishes in the sink, wash the pans from last night’s dinner, run the dishwasher, push away the dishes, run the vacuum cleaner in both rooms, make the bed, and fold all the laundry. Yes, I have a busy day ahead of me and here I am wasting away writing a blog post instead. LOL Whoops. Oh well. I needed to write. I haven’t written in almost two weeks!

Our Weekend (this past weekend)

This past weekend we actually spent time together as a family! On Saturday, Mike volunteered to pick apples for Feeding America charity with his work. There was 15 of us picking apples plus our families. We arrived at the apple orchard around 10am. We took a quick hay ride to the orchard and were given about 45 minutes to pick apples. We had our bushel filled within about 10 minutes. Nick ate, honest to god, nine apples that morning. He kept squealing about how good they were. Mikhail just liked being able to climb the trees. The apples were so bountiful in the trees that the branches were near the ground from being so heavy. It made for some very easy picking.

After rallying the troops, we all rode the hay ride back to the beginning and loaded up Mike’s boss’s truck with the 15 bushels of apples. That was approximate $450 worth of apples that were being donated to Feeding America. We walked around and checked out the store a little bit. Mikhail really wanted to go get pumpkins but we had already been there for nearly three hours and were ready to head out. We ended up just picking up some pumpkins at the front and headed out. Here is the scrapbook page I made for the day:

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Nick goes, “Mom, why are taking a selfie for these pictures?” I explained to him, “Someday, you’re going to look back at all these photos that we have together as a family. All the family things we did together and I’m not going to be in any of them. Someday I’m not going to be around and you’re going to wish I wasn’t always behind the camera but instead in some of the photos too.” It depressed him and really made him sad to think about that but he understood why I decided to start doing what I did. I should have had Lynn get a photo of my family together. Oh well, maybe next year right? I would really like to make a tradition of this and do this every year. It wasn’t terribly expensive to do. Granted we didn’t pay for the apples or the hay ride but it was only $3 per person for the hayride, $7 per pumpkin, and it would cost roughly $8-13 for a peck of apples. We wouldn’t need anything more than that. Not terrible. I’m going to talk to Mike about doing it again next year.

Saturday night the boys went over to my mom’s house while we went to a friend’s house for a party. It was a really laid back party. Not a lot of people were there. Just a small gathering of friends, not really a party at all. I hung out and listened to the banter that was being said around. I didn’t put too much of my two cents in, mainly in fear of saying something stupid. About two hours into the party, Mike’s buddy and his girlfriend showed up and she sat and talked to me for a good few hours. So that was alright. We grew tired, bored, and the party turned politically and religious really quick so that was our cue to head out.

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This is also where I need to find SOMETHING to do outside of the house because ninety percent of the discussion we had was that I was jealous. I was jealous of his friends for getting so much of his attention and time…. time and attention that I wasn’t getting from him. I need to find something to do outside of the home. Whether that’s following through with going to a planner meet up and making new friends, going to Barnes and Nobel with my coloring books, getting some Starbucks and coloring SOMEWHERE that isn’t home, or figuring out something. I need to find a life outside from tending to the boys (and Mikes) every whim. I wish I had friends. I don’t have any friends. I have no one that shares any interest in anything that I do. Do I even have any interests? I need a life outside the home. Mike goes out with his friends, I need to find friends. All I have is the boys and Mike. I have no one else there for me. I pushed every single other person away and when they offered to be there for me I declined the offer.

If I had friends this wouldn’t have escalated as badly as it did. I’m scared to have friends, though. Every time I have friends, something happens where I get pushed away from Mike, the one person that matters the most to me. Why does that happen!? I talked to a girl for a few hours at a party and what comes of it, I start an epic “fight” between Mike and I because I was jealous that he talks to his friends more during the day than me. HOW SELFISH! How dare I be like that!

Anyway, that’s what happened. I have so much to do yet. I really should get to it. I’m happy to have gotten all that off my chest. Thanks for always being there for me, imaginary world. Someday I’ll have real friends to talk to about my problems, share some happiness with, and live life with.

written on at 10:30 am || Filed under: Love, Ohana, Parenting, Struggles

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