Yesterday was fine. I went to work. I VTO’d from work. They said, “go home. Enjoy your vacation. Have a good time.” I even went as far as asking Erika if there was anything she wanted to tell me before I left. *wink wink* Ya know, like if a certain someone was going to be hired on or not. She said to enjoy my vacation and I’d find out later on just to enjoy my vacation. I left.

I came home and Great Grandma K was here. They never did look at our house. All that cleaning… she never came over. Hey, at least the house is clean for vacation, right, Nik? Sure, whatever.

I did my nails. I have pictures. They turned out… and then they didn’t turn out. I don’t know.

I got a phone call today. It was Erika. She told me ‘due to call volume they’re going to have to make their cuts’, and I was one of them. “We will contact you in the spring if you’re in the running to be rehired on. We’ll keep you in consideration.” Not, we’ll definitely be in contact with you this spring. No, it was no definite. It was maybe. So, now what? I spend the next four months off wondering if in Feb. or March they’re going to call me back?! Fucking LOVELY.

Why am I upset? I knew this day could come. I knew the job was seasonal. Am I more upset that although they promised you will always have a position here at DHL, Nik? Yet the promise wasn’t there when we ended the call today after finding out I was laid off? Am I upset that I worked my fucking ass off as hard as I could towards the end to prove to them I was fucking worthy. I had TWO trainers tell me “YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN A PERFECT REPRESENTATIVE!” Nothing. None of it was good enough.

So, way to go Nik. You got your FOUR MONTH VACATION LIKE YOU “KINDA HOPED FOR”. I’ve only burst into tears about eight times today.

I packed. I got stuff together. I went and picked up everything that was on my desk – which they don’t allow you downstairs or anywhere but the reception area after you’re let go. I went and got a Venti Quad Shot Iced White Chocolate Mocha Latte from Starbucks. I cried some more. Then my sister called me.

“Grandpa has probably til the end of the week.”

So my grandfather is going to pass, while I’m in FL and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m supposed to  just enjoy yourself and your vacation don’t worry about all of us. What an incredibly heartless, barbaric thing to say to someone. How dare you tell me to just enjoy myself and not worry about the fact that my grandfather passed and yes, we have had this trip planned and paid for since January but to just “not worry about it”. Fuck off.

UGH! I am SO over today.

written on October 17, 2017 at 2:56 pm with 2 Comments
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