The last time I wrote, things were pretty … dark? … for lack of better word. I wasn’t doing good. Mike wasn’t doing good. It was a mess.
Last time I wrote, Mike had just started his symptoms. Well, somewhat just started his symptoms. He was problematic and off work for a week and half. Since I last wrote, he seen an ENT. The ENT told him to keep doing what he’s been doing. Added that he should be doing a saline rinse (gross) a few times a day, taking a decongestant, and taking his medications that have been prescribed to him. She ordered a hearing test and a CT scan of his sinuses so she could get to the bottom of what’s wrong.
That was cool… we were finally in the right direction to getting some answers. That Thursday, maybe Friday, we had to go to the ER. Mike was still dizzy but now he was worried about being hydrated because he wasn’t able to drink (or eat for that matter) very much. So we went in for some fluids. We had to take Mikhail with us because no one was available to babysit. We sat at the ER for 3 hours. Mikhail was considerably well behaved. He looked at me at one point and goes, “Mom can we go home?” Which just FLOORED me because I had no idea he was able to fully comprehend a sentence, let alone knew what “home” was. So, after some blood work, a bag of fluids, and some waiting around, the ER doctor came and told us all the blood work (and mono test) came back negative or normal. So he wasn’t dehydrated. He told us earlier when they put the IV in they had put this “A” medication in. IDK what they said exactly it just started with an A. We didn’t know what the hell that was. So they hand him a prescription for the A medication (atvian or something) and say keep taking the lorazepam. Huh? What are they talking about lorazepam for? Well we leave and head to the pharmacy. Mike looks up with the atvian or w/e medication is; its lorazepam. Why did they give him an anxiety medication? What was in Dr. Hill’s notes from Mike’s last visit where he had asked for anxiety meds? I told Mike that’s the medication they gave me when I was having anxiety issues. He was confused at first thinking it was the meds they had put him on last time. So went and filled the script. Mike still felt dizzy.
The next day he took all his medications, including lorazepam. He felt amazing that day. Like almost back to normal!!! So was it the lorazepam that caused this sudden … whats the words … healing, perhaps? We had no idea. We still have no idea. He’s been doing a HELL of a lot better ever since. He even went back to work on Monday. I had mixed feelings about this… in a sense I was happy he went back because I was gonna be able to function (clean) again without worrying about him being there. In another sense, I got used to him being home with me and I started to enjoy it – but that was purely for selfish reasons. I know he had to return to work eventually. I’m happy he is feeling better to be able to return to work. It’s gonna help his anxiety that he had about the whole situation diminish now that he’s back at work.
So yesterday, we had two appt so he was off work another day. We had a follow-up with our regular physician because of the ER visit and we had a hearing test in the afternoon. The follow-up went smoothly. I was expecting Mike to go in there saying “Lorazepam worked for me. I’m not as dizzy anymore. Will you give me a regular supply.” but he didn’t. He told them he was taking it and that was it. *shrugs* He said he’s waiting, which is understandable. I was racking my brain the night before the appt as to how he was gonna go through with telling him it worked and that he’ll somehow need a regular supply of that med to keep making sure it was working without sounding like a junky. He discussed his back. They filled out his FMLA paperwork. They discussed a few other things. It went smoothly. We headed on our way out. Came back to Mike’s Mom’s house.
Mike’s Mom had taken Mikhail to his 3 year old check up (which was scheduled like 5 months too late, heh) because we were at Mike’s Dr. Mikhail is 98 percentile in weight. 97 percentile in height. I asked Lynn to discuss getting the number for the speech therapist because I feel as though Mikhail’s not talking enough. Dr basically told Lynn that as long as Mikhail can talk to people whose not normally around him and 2/3rd of the time people are able to make out what he’s saying, he don’t need a speech therapist. *shrugs* Ok. Guess I’ll just not worry about it anymore. Thing is, when he wants to, he talks. He talks well, that is, when he wants to. He can say full sentences now. He says some bigger words. He just doesn’t talk as much as say a different 3 year old, for instance like my niece. BUT the thing I’ve realized about my niece compared to Mikhail, is Milli talks really fast, and it is really hard to understand what she’s saying. A lot of time she’s babbling. Where as Mikhail says stuff clearly and its easy to understand. The only time its hard to understand what Mikhail is saying is when he’s whispering it. Well, plus he has a few words he has a hard time pronouncing. Either way, I should stop worrying about it. When he goes to school, if he has a speech problem, they will tell me. *nods*
What else did I want to talk about? OH RIGHT! As of today, I am 6 weeks quit smoking. I’ve done it!!! Hooray! It is getting easier and easier by the day. I’m still having moments where I struggle though. For instance, while Mike was home that week and half, I was struggling. I was really stressed out. I felt awful. I just wanted to smoke. There were countless times I almost jumped in my car to buy a pack of smokes. I didn’t know if Mike would have cared. I think that’s the only reason why I thought of doing it because I wasn’t sure Mike would have stopped me. But I didn’t. I held my ground, stayed strong, and just pushed past the cravings. It was extremely hard but now that I know I was able to get through that without relapsing, I can probably conquer anything. Right?
Last topic of conversation, I want to talk about Mike for a second… I absolutely love the fact that Mike and I are still passionately in love. I don’t know necessarily if its as much as it is for him as it is for me but I know there’s still plenty of passion in between us. I still look at him and my heart flutters. I still look at him and ask “how did I get so lucky?” *blushes* He can still turn me on by looking at me. He’s my best friend in the whole wide world. I love that I can talk about anything with him. I can be stupid because of my pills and not feel stupid when I’m around him. IDK if that even came out right… I don’t feel like an idiot around him even though I’m being an idiot. Right? That make more sense? IDK. Either way. Love him to death. I’m so lucky to have found him. Like my Mom always says, he balances me out. We’re good for each other. I can’t wait to marry him. Even if its a courthouse wedding that we do on a Tuesday morning. I don’t care anymore. I just want to know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him.
Ok enough gush… Trying to think if there is anything else I wanted to discuss??
Guess I could talk about Matt… He’s been seeing Nickolas on a somewhat regular basis. More recently he asked if he could see Nick on Sunday. Then on Saturday asked if he could see him on Tuesday instead because of some reason I don’t remember. It’s not important. So, last night he took Nick. Nick wanted to see The Avengers. So, I asked Matt if he would take him. He told me he would but not to tell Nick that he was going. I’m like that’s fine. So, Matt picked up Nickolas shortly after he picked up his gfs son at his bus stop. He asked me the night before if Nick could sleep the night. On a school night? Uhm? I didn’t know what to tell him. After contemplating it for a moment, I told him yes but he absolutely HAS to bring Nick by 8am the next morning. So then I told him 7:50. Then I told him becuase he forgot his clothes, that he needs to bring him a little earlier than that so I know he has enough time to get dressed. I also told him I was putting a LOT of trust in to him for doing this and I expected him to follow through with what he said he’d do. It worked out alright. Nick got here at 7:30am. He got dressed. Told me he’d eat breakfast at school so that’s not an issue. Nick officially spent a school night at his Dad’s house. Guess I trust Matt with a tiny (and i mean TINY) bit more responsibility especially now that he has this girlfriend who has a kid and he is learning what its like to have a kid in your possession at all times of the day, every day.
Also on the plus side, he’s paying my child support. Well, I can’t say that he is. I’ve gotten one payment so far since we went to court. But it was for the normal amount like its supposed to be and it was taken from his paycheck so I should SHOULD be getting it on a regular basis again! HOORAY FOR MONEY!
Alright. I don’t know what else to talk about. I suppose I’ll end this here. If I can think of anything else to talk about I’ll edit this post, unless its a few days from now and then I’ll just write a new post. Until then folks…
