So, I have been blog hoppin’ today. I wanted to join some groups and directories, get out there, be heard. I’ve come to a decision – I’m so damn far from perfection. HA! I sign up at ‘themomblogs.com and start browsing others blogs. I look across maybe fifty blogs of other moms. These blogs vary from stay at home mom’s to twenty-something year old women, covered in tattoos and not ready to grow up. Something I realized with all of them is they’re all absolutely, utterly, completely in love with their children, husbands, lives, careers, homes, etc. They’re always so happy!

What the fuck?!

I mean, majority of them were “Oh, Conner said the darnedest thing today.” It would continue with the conversation her and her three year old son had. Something that really bothered me, and pretty much scared the hell out of me was the fact that I never ever say those types of things about my kids. Its always, “I could kill him after what he did today”.

I thought I wanted to become apart of this new group of people. Have other mom’s come check out my blog, leave me comments, and give their thoughts and insight. Maybe I do want that, but I don’t think I’d want some twenty-something who has two kids, a perfect career, little cottage, driving a Mercedes come to my blog and tell me “things will start to look up soon” after complaining about the fact that our electric is on the verge of being shut off, we have tons of debt, and no end in sight.

Where is the community of Mom’s like me? You know, the one where its the twenty-something year old whose just trying to get by. Who blogs because its her outlet to vent all the bull shit going on in her life. The one that has an ex who doesn’t see his son because he’s got this pissed off attitude against her. The girl who doesn’t know whether or not she cares about the people around her half the time because they’re giving her such a hard time.

Where the hell is that community!?

I feel like half the time, when I write, I have no one that will come here and relate to me because no one else feels the way I do towards my life, kids, love, etc. Where the hell are the people like me?

[Edit]So, I want to say thanks for the comments regarding this entry. Especially the reassurance from everyone that I’m not a horrible mom. It really means a lot to hear it, no matter who its coming from. I know everyone doesn’t have perfect lives. It just seemed like 90% of the blogs I browsed and read had life so easy. Guess it never occurred to me that people don’t like discussing their problems, or whats really going on in their minds about their parenting skills because of their fear of being judged. Although, I do also share that fear of people judging me, I feel its more important to get some thoughts out instead.

Written on Tuesday December 16th, 2008 at 1:56am || Filed under: Parenting ||