Well, I made it. Two weeks since my surgery. I did it. I got my tubes tied and I will no longer have periods. All is said and done.

I’d be lying if it didn’t dawn on me at least once or twice I will never have another child again. A small part of me felt a tinge of heartache but a much bigger part of me was happy with that decision and felt a sense of being proud that I can’t. Never having to deal with hormonal birth control. Never having to worry about having a pregnancy scare every time I feel sick or ill. Hopefully, rid my body of the remaining hormones from the IUD and NuvaRing and start to become a normal person.

I say a normal person and kinda laugh to myself. I had my 2-week post-op appointment yesterday. The doctor was still surprised that I was smiling about the decision and after a quick explanation of what hormones do to my body she understood why this was so important to me. She asked if I had any questions and I asked, “So, no more weight restrictions or sex restrictions?” She said, “Nope, you can be a normal person once again.” I just kinda laughed to myself because when was I ever a normal person? Maybe before all these hormones. Before I had Mikhail and got pregnant. I was somewhat normal back then, wasn’t I?

Will becoming a normal person mean no more Bipolar Disorder? Will that go away with the fact that I don’t have a foreign object in my body? Will all my other ailments go away now? No more lichen sclerosis? Although I had a pretty nasty bout of that the week after the removal of all the hormones while my body evened out. My psoriasis is acting up something fierce right now. Is that because I have too many antibodies in my body remaining since the removal of the silicone?

When will my body and mind become ‘normal’ again? Will I notice a change right away? Well, I notice a lot of things acting up but not getting better. When will things get better? Do things have to get worse before they can become better? I guess I have a lot of questions but not many answers.

You can become a normal person again. What does that mean? When will it happen?

I’m ready for it. I’m ready to become a normal person again.

Time will tell when things will get better. Things will not happen overnight. I had that thing in me for 7 years. It will take a while to get back to normal and recover from that.

Sorry, I’m thinking out loud as I so often do. Time will tell when things will get better. I’m confident things will change for the better now. I guess that’s all that matters now, isn’t it?

written on at 9:59 am || Filed under: Health, Life with Bipolar

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