Nick’s first day of school!

Date posted: Tuesday September 1st, 2009 || Filed under: Family || 8 Comments

Nickolas had his first day of school today. We made it. We’ve overcome! Here’s the rundown, or the quick version of how everything happened (I’m exhausted, so please excuse my lack of wanting to get into details)

We’ll start with last night… Nick was passed out by 8pm. I on the other hand, tossed and turned for hours upon hours. Every single hour I was awake, then wide awake. The anxiety for today was just god awful. I don’ t know why or what I was freaking out about – but I was regardless. After a VERY long night of no sleep, I finally got out of bed at 5:30 and started to get everything ready. Coffee made, breakfast prepped, snacks packed, final minute gatherings.

Nickolas woke up about 7am. I made him breakfast and asked him to sit and eat. He complained his throat hurt, didn’t want it – ultimately didn’t end up eating any breakfast. I think he got Momma’s anxiety – poor kid. Anyways, Lynn called and asked if she should come get Mikhail to make things easier for us. She came and got him and at 8pm Nickolas and I headed out the door towards school. We drove there, walked to the door. Luckily the neighbor lady and her son were there. (Nick used to play with him, but I don’t let him play with the kids around here often. I just, don’t like how the parents let them do/say whatever they want.)

He played with Lyric for a while. He was a lot less worried and nervous once he got to running around. Then, all the kids started lining up and going inside once the teachers opened the doors. He stood there and looked at me and said “I don’t want to leave you!” Broke my heart. I nearly cried. I held my composure as much as I could. I walked inside with him and we stood around. He was anxious to get going to start playing but was scared all at the same time. Finally I said my third goodbye, gave my 50th kiss and hug, and his teacher took him and showed him where to sit. I was hesitant to leave him, but told myself it was time to let go. Made me realize that I really do care a lot more than I give myself credit for. He’s a pain in the behind when he’s acting out because he wants to do whatever he wants, or thinks he can get his way for everything – because his dad lets him. I love the little booger. LOL

Anyways, after leaving him and walking that slow walk across the playground towards my car I got sad. I thought to myself, well, that’s it. He’s grown up. Well, its not like he’s moving outta the house, but he’s growing!

After I had left, I went to pick up my WIC check’s for the baby’s food. I headed to the bank to get the child support contempt paperwork towards Matt notarized and filed. Then headed over to Lynn’s house to pick up Mikhail. She asked if I wanted to go to Kmart to pick up some more pants for Nickolas but I just wanted to get home. Mikhail and I got home, I did four loads of laundry. Attempted to clean up the house. I was exhausted already.

At 3pm I left to go get Nickolas. He walked out when the bell rang and had a smile from ear to ear. His first thing he said to me was, “Can I go back tomorrow?!” He was so excited, which was just great. He told me about his day which included having three recesses, playing with his favorite Aunt KariAnn (matt’s sister who is also in kindergarten, and he just absolutely adores – but since Matt has his new gf, he doesn’t get to see her anymore.) He told me about the games he played with his teacher and class. He ate his snack and chicken nuggets for lunch!!! He ate his snack which I made sure to have for the very short car ride home. He told me about how he played with Kari and met new friends at school.

I found his school pictures in his bookbag once we got home. I thought for sure he’d fall asleep like everyone says kids do. “They pass out after their first day. All that excitement, and craziness from the day.” Oh no, not my little boy at least not today. He wasn’t tired at all. He was HUNGRY. He ate SO MUCH after he got home it was insane. He just fell asleep a little while ago – it’s 9pm.

I’m exhausted. Today was an exhausting day. I did A LOT. But, I must say, I’ve overcome all my fears, and anxiety – at least for now. I got my license. Nick is in school. My doctors appointments are scheduled and booked, and I’ve already been to therapy for about a month now. I feel this rush of relief over myself at this point. No more HUGE panic attacks like last night because I have nothing left to worry about. All of my HUGE anxiety-ridden obstacles are overcome. We’ve done it. I did it.