As you lovely folks can see, I have made a wonderful new theme for Eternal Amour. Doesn’t it look beautiful. There wasn’t a whole lot to it. I basically scribbled some, used some brushes, found a perfect font, and coded. It was one of those scenarios where you’re sitting around, and get an awesome idea for a great theme. 90% of the time when these ideas come in your mind, they never play out right on paper. So, I start designing. After three hours later, it came together awesomely. I then told myself, “Crap, Nikkole, why did you create something you don’t have the faintest idea on how to code.” I was clueless and thought I designed further than my coding knowledge exceeded. I threw the backgrounds up and started piecing together the CSS. One by one things came together, smoothly! There was no cursing like a drunkin’ sailor (well, more so than normal). There was no need to get up and “just walk away” from it for any period of time. It all came together, smoothly, without tutorials, help, peekin’ at the source of another favorite site… I did it. All by myself. No help. By Memory. Ta-Da! Aren’t I talented – like a slightly mentally retarded ‘computer genius’?

Moving along, I have no idea what the hell is going on with me. No, honestly, not a clue. I’ve been feeling depression, yet feeling mania. I’m a freakin’ train wreck that’s what I am! I spent all last week on the phone trying to get a hold of SOMEONE regarding getting a new psychologist and psychiatrist. (For those who are uninformed: One is for medication, one is for therapy.) I called all the numbers in my insurance book and off their website, the number one answer I received was “Sorry, we don’t accept that insurance. ” Wait, what? Yea. Their book says these numbers, yet their insurance isn’t accepted. Makes no freaking sense… so I’m continuing my journey on  trying to find a new doctor. I feel degraded from repeating over and over again what I believe is my biggest flaw, and I’m exhausted from doing it, but I must get it done!

My ‘to-do’ list hasn’t shortened at all. If anything since I closed the site, it has grown, largely. I have to find the doctors. I have to clean the house prior to Friday for our yearly WHEDA inspection. Which, is oh so, not fun. There are also thousands of other things which will be discussed at a later date. Meh.

… I’ve come to the decision that I’m not a cool, hip writer like I read elsewhere. People are crazy, quirky, and interesting. I’m just a whiner, complainer, and a bitch.  /shrugs It’s who I am.

But anyways, here you go… the site is reopened, the theme is complete. I’m pretty proud of it, but I don’t LOVE it like I wish I did. Regardless, I’ll be keeping it up sometime.

Written on Tuesday July 7th, 2009 at 4:31pm || Filed under: Life with Bipolar, Site Updates ||