I’m super nervous about my appointment on Tuesday. It’s going to take everything I have to keep busy this weekend and through Monday to get to the appointment time. I have done so much research regarding it.

So far I’ve understood that the hormones in Mirena are different from most birth control pill.

I’ve decided that no matter what I want to try for sterilization and have birth control pills of some sort afterward to help regulate me. While that’s not the most ideal it’s the bare minimum I want to do. My other option is to do a copper IUD AND a birth control pill because copper IUD cause heavier bleeding and I do NOT need heavier bleeding at all. Who knows, maybe things like Yasmin and Seasonique are the same type of hormones that are in Mirena and I won’t be able to take those and will have to do a 7 day long period regardless but hopefully one that is going to make my period lighter.

Ultimately, I’m going to reason with the doctor and say this, “It’s going to cost more money giving me two different forms of birth control for the rest of my life than just doing the hysterectomy up front and be done with it.” Ya know?! Eh, who am I kidding? It’s a LONG shot to be able to get a hysterectomy. Whose to say that we will even bring up the word “hysterectomy” at the appointment. My doctor might have a completely different plan in mind and one that she feels will work for me.

Ugh! The whole thing is nerve-wracking.

That’s the number one thing I hope and pray goes away with taking out the IUD – the nerves! The anxiety that I’ve developed over the years… I hope that goes away first. I hope I get it taken out and there is an overwhelming sense of release in my mind that takes over and sets me free.

… We will see. That’s all I can do is wait patiently for the appointment and pray everything works out in my favor. That’s all we can do.

Things I hope that are resolved, lessened, or cleared up completely after removal of Mirena:

  • irritability and mood swings
  • this includes: rage attacks, irritability, screaming, and all around anger
  • weight gain and the ability to finally lose weight again
  • anxiety and panic attacks
  • cysts
  • side effects I feel when taking antibiotics
  • over-all all emotional side effects from outbursts to crying
  • foggy brained and forgetful

Those are most of the things I want resolved. I have to get those in my head because I had to look at my list to discuss these. SMH I cannot forget to mention not one of these! I have to remember them all!

Diagnosis I’ve received since getting Mirena include:

  • bipolar I disorder
  • obsessive compulsive disorder
  • anxiety and panic disorder
  • cysts
  • lichen sclerosis
  • fibromyalgia
  • psoriatic arthritis
  • psoriasis

I have been on countless medications and prescriptions to counter act EVERYTHING that I’ve felt or have had since getting Mirena. I’m just DONE.

Take this thing out of me and LET ME GET BACK TO MY NORMAL LIFE!

That’s all I’m praying for let this come out of me and let me get back to having a normal life. 

That almost scares me though. Normal life? What’s normal life? I’ve had this thing in for 8 years now… 8 years can change a person… eight years can make some one very different and change everything about them. I’ve been this way for 8 years now and I’ve been with Mike for 11 years so for only 3 years has he witness who I truly am as a person. Not this clouded version of a person that I’ve become with Mirena. I’m almost scared of who I am going to become once this thing is out for good. Who am I going to become? How much am I going to stay the same? Will I continue to scream and holler at the kids every single day or will I chill out and relax? Will I continue to have severe social anxiety or will I, again, relax?! Who will I become?

These are all unknowns… I guess Tuesday, the week after Tuesday, the month of April, and the rest of the year will tell what truly will become of me.

written on at 10:11 am || Filed under: Health

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