That describes my mood to a tee! I am motivated to get some things done but so incredibly lazy and not willing to do anything. Ugh! It starts with the fact that I haven’t done anything today minus tell Mikhail to drink his Miralax and read organizing and cleaning blogs.

It started on Thursday. Mikhail came home with a fever and a headache. We took him to the doctor that evening and found out it’s too soon to figure out what’s wrong with him. Hmm, ok? So, we came home and kept an eye on him. The next day he had problems using the bathroom. He said he went to the bathroom six times while I was sleeping but wouldn’t say which way he was going to the bathroom. We kept a closer eye on him. Around 5:30-6pm he decided that his stomach hurt really bad. We tried the bathroom again but he couldn’t go. So we decided he was constipated and gave him a dose of Miralax. He never went to the bathroom but his stomach ache went away. Fast forward to this morning, he would cry when he rushed to the bathroom to pee. I figured it might be a UTI or a bladder infection and decided enough was enough and took him in.

We went to urgent care for children and got him checked out. The doctor said he has four out of five symptoms for strep so she wanted to test him for that. Fine, whatever. We also got him to do a urine sample, which shocked the hell out of me, but he did it and that came back negative too. Hmm. She finally mentioned something about checking if he’s constipated with X-ray but didn’t prefer to do it because if we could avoid exposing him to X-rays she would prefer that. I told her to do it anyway. After a few moments, we found he was backed all the way up near his belly button – very constipated. She told us to continue the Miralax but give him MUCH more.

Well, all day today I told him to nurse his Miralax and drink up! It took him all day to drink his two doses he was supposed to have. Still no bowel movement but we’re watching him closely. I just fear when he finally goes it’s going to cause ridiculous cramping. He’s got a high threshold for pain but still that’s going to be pretty miserable.

So, between telling him to drink up, I spent the day reading cleaning and organizing blogs. It really motivated me to get the house in order – almost. It ALMOST motivated me to get moving and get some things done. As you can tell by my few words, I didn’t get started on anything productive. I spent the entire day worried about Mikhail and waiting for him to go to the bathroom and telling him to drink.

I am contemplating doing a brain dump tonight before bed to just get off my mind all the things I want to get done in the coming weeks. Yes, the boys are going to be home, but I am going to try really hard not to let that stop me from getting stuff done.

Some big, audacious, hairy, scary goals include:

  • gathering ALL of Mikhail’s old clothing, going through it, and either dropping it off on Mike’s mom’s doorstep and letting her figure out what she wants to do with it or donating it all to Goodwill. We’re done having kids, we do NOT need six to eight boxes of old clothes in various sizes anymore. It’s taking up space and I do not want it in my basement, bedrooms, closets, and taking up space. I would have donated them YEARS ago but 1. I didn’t pay for them so I want the decision to be up to his mom. 2. I am lazy and everything is just thrown together in boxes. Sizes, types, seasons, all of it thrown together in multiple boxes. This goal is big and scary. It also involves an outside party so it’s kinda out of my control but it is something I want to complete!
  • hopefully BEFORE winter of next year, I want to go through the house and collect ALL the winter gear that’s hanging out and put it in ONE space in the basement so I know exactly where it comes October/November. Right now I have hats and gloves sitting in the front closet, along with some winter coats. I have my snow pants (that I never tried on) sitting upstairs in my closet. Mike’s snow pants are sitting in my dining room. There are boxes of our boots and miscellaneous coats and such downstairs in various boxes all over the basement. Everything is EVERYWHERE. I don’t want to be hunting everything down when the winter months creep in. Granted, I know exactly where everything is right this second but honestly how long will it take for me to gather everything from everywhere and just put it in a few boxes in ONE spot in the basement.
  • I HAVE HAVE HAAAAAVE to go through my scrapbooking stuff. I have decided that I’m going to just throw a good chunk of the stuff away. I am going to legitimately go through everything and decide one way or another if I’m going to keep it or toss it. And then I’m going to do what I cannot believe, I am going to toss it! My mom was like, “Oh! Give it to me. I’ll take it off your hands. I’ll take up scrapbooking.” HA! That’s the last thing she needs is another craft in her house. Smh. This also includes the few boxes/totes that I have in Mike’s closet that needs to be gone through.

Those are just three big projects that I can think of that I need to do this summer. This doesn’t include going through the linen closet, going through Mikhail’s dresser (for the 38th time), going through Nick’s closet and all his old clothing, and so much more.

Goodness, just thinking of all that, now I’m overwhelmed. It all needs to be done. I don’t care if I have to load up my car and take all the stuff to Goodwill myself and just be done with it and say goodbye forever. I’m done with the clutter and the junk all over the place. I want to grasp my life and not be sunken under all the stuff. See, now I’m pumped and want to get it done. Yet, here I am talking about it, instead of doing it. *shrugs*

I’ll end this here. I should probably go to bed or something instead.

written on at 10:31 pm || Filed under: Home/Cooking, Struggles

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