I have been doing a lot of research lately. I came across an article that talked about Mirena IUD birth control being linked to instability in moods and mood swings. I was intrigued. I started looking it up and after reading a bunch of articles I was semi-convinced, my Mirena could have been the cause to my panic attacks, and Bipolar outbursts, and manic outbursts with my rage attacks. I made an appointment with the OB/GYN and that was scheduled out to April 04th. Not ideal to me, but whatcha gonna do?! I wanted to get in there much sooner but I have to wait. That will give me plenty of time to outweigh freak out about my options. I need something in a form of birth control that would stop or lighten my period to maximum four a year to zero a year. I cannot have my period every single month again, I will not do it. When I had my periods I was curled in a ball, in pain, for a whole week. I bled very, very heavily. My PMS was uncontrollable and my moods swung from balling my eyes out crying, to “no one loves me” depression, to screaming at the top of my lungs and throwing shit across the room. I will NOT deal with that again. I must find a birth control that will prohibit my period to no more than four a year. There is a birth control pill that does this but 1. I don’t know if I can handle another hormonal birth control because of how unstable Mirena’s hormones made me. 2. I don’t know if I can do a pill for a birth control. While I remember my pills every single day for my other meds, I fear I’m going to forget the pill and then risk getting pregnant and I WILL NOT get pregnant again.

My other options include sterilization and the possibility of taking an birth control pill just to regulate and weaken my periods.

My most ideal option, if they were to do it for me, is a hysterectomy. If I could do any of these things I would opt for a hysterectomy. Gut me like a fish. Take me out back and take my insides. I don’t care. I don’t want anymore kids. I physically, emotionally, and mentally cannot handle being pregnant again and having Hypermesis again. I do not want my periods any more. They’re far too heavy and intense to deal with them coming on a monthly basis. I don’t need my insides anymore so take them all. I have very intense family history and history myself of endometriosis. So what’s the point of keeping my uterus.

This is all stuff I need to discuss with my OB/GYN.

While doing some more research, I went on my old blog posts and what I found amazed me. The first time I was on Mirena it wasn’t an instant thing but it was a gradual change throughout the weeks/months/years that caused me to go from a normal, happy person to a raging lunatic.

This is what shocked me the most… The second time I got Mirena inserted in September 2013 it was an instant change. I wrote in my blog, not even two weeks after the insertion, “I don’t know where this came from or why I feel this way but I have been having severe anxiety and panic attacks for the past couple of weeks. This is crazy. I used to never worry about Mike’s driving and now I’m scared to be in the car with him. Now I’m constantly thinking of what-ifs that are happening or the worse case scenarios that could come about in certain situations.” That right there almost confirmed it in my head… Mirena is what is causing most of this.

Not even a month after that, I went to my pdoc and asked for an increase in my anxiety meds and in my anger meds because my rage and anxiety were through the roof and almost uncontrollable. Smh. This is all starting to make sense.

I’m going to have anxiety and be a nervous wreck until I can get in and see the OB/GYN and get this all taken care of.

Some women reported they lost 45 pounds in 5 weeks time after getting their Mirena out. Some talked about having an ‘instant sigh of relief as soon as it was out and they could think clearly again not have so much brain fog’.

I don’t know how I’m going to react as soon as I get it out. I don’t know what birth control I’m going to do instead. If I end up doing sterilization I’m probably going to keep the Mirena in until the surgery and then remove it after it’s said and done so we have absolutely NO possibility of getting pregnant. If they tell me they’ll do the hysterectomy that would be even better.

I don’t know how things are going to go when I go in the next few weeks but we’ll see.

written on at 9:02 am || Filed under: Anxiety, Health, Life with Bipolar

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