So you think you know…

I am Nikkole. I’m around Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I am twenty-five going on forty. Born on the 30th of July would make a me a Leo. I am a mother of two boys, Nickolas(8) and Mikhail(3). Yes, that would make me a stereo-typical “teenage mom”. Nickolas’ dad, Matt, is in and out of our lives. He is what I’ve always like to call a “when its convenient for him” type of Dad. He comes and goes when he feels fit. Thankfully, I found the man of my dreams; Mike. The father of our beautiful little boy, Mikhail and a wonderful role model to Nickolas. I couldn’t ask for more. We met in January of 2005 and knew from that moment we were meant to be together. It sounds so cliche, but fate really did bring us together. We have had our ups and downs, but who hasn’t, right?

I am a web designing, coffee lovin’, newly coupon clipping, (insert your own adjective here), “normal” young adult. I say normal with the least amount of emphasis and with a hint of sarcasm. I almost always speak my mind; unless I fear the thought of rejection or hurtin’ ones feelings for no point. (I tend to speak, what I feel, would be the ‘honest to god truth’ when it comes to certain things. If I feel it is necessary that you NEED to hear what I feel about it, I will let you know. Most of the time, its not nice, and I have actually hurt a lot of feelings and relationships by telling people the stuff they don’t want to hear. My personality is like a firecracker, its dull and boring, but when you light it, its a POP, then dies down.

I try extremely hard to be the best mom I can be. Nickolas was born in October of 2003. Matt and I were together, exactly two months and ten days after his birth before breaking up. I left him, the nonsense, abuse, and immaturity. I learned a lot about relationships while being with him, and am very proud that I left. Nickolas and I have dealt with a lot of bull coming from him. Although I don’t think it will ever end, we can only hope.

Mikhail was born in December of 2008. After having to quit my job due to hyperemesis, I decided to stay being a SAHM. I am the absolute most happiest this way, most of the time. I don’t mind being a SAHM but I do miss having the ability to have “my own money”. I also get a tug at my heart strings, a little dose of guilt likes to play over me like the plague because I don’t feel as though I’m able to “provide for my family” even though deep down I know I do emotionally and physically, just not financially.

… But you have no idea.

I don’t like to think of myself as anything near normal. I suffer from bipolar disorder or manic depression. I’m a bit of a “Hulk” when it comes to a lot of situations.  I am completely anti-social, and would much rather stay inside of my home all day long than go conversate with the outside world. I don’t mind hanging out with friends though. Basically, unless I like you, you annoy me and I want nothing to do with you. *shrugs*

Another thing you’ll notice about me, I don’t hold back. If I have bull shit happening in my life, I’ll tell ya about it. There is no sugar coatin’ shit. Although I regret this, and sometimes dislike this trait of my personality; I’m an open book and I’m able to able share without [much] remorse. I’m not proud of a lot of stuff, but as I see it, if I’m able to get it out, and share, MAYBE somewhere, someday, I’ll save a soul because they’ll know, they’re not the only one’s like that.

Lastly, I don’t act anything like my age. Sometimes this upsets me, most of the time it works for me, all the time, it annoys others. I’m 25 years old, going on forty. I have never acted my age because I was forced to mature extremely early from my Dad working all day long during my childhood. Having Nickolas at the age of sixteen also caused my lifestyle to mature. Maybe I’m a bit bitter regarding this sometimes too. Whose to say? I’m not a psychologist. I don’t go out. I don’t hang out with friends much. I don’t ‘party’. I don’t go to the bar. When my friends are immature, I try not to judge them, but most of the time, you’ll never see me doing the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments of immaturity just like the rest of ‘em, but 90% of the time, I’m a grown-up.

There’s a lot about my personality I could sit here and explain; Majority of it will simply confuse you. Your best bet is to just read/follow my blog. Get to know me (all 30 versions) and see who I am as a person, mom, friend, girlfriend, lover, and enemy.

Want more?

1. Quick info about myself – learn about me through surveys
2. Random Facts About Myself – 32 random facts about myself
3. My friends have left me some: Fan Signs
4. I wish, I wish, with all my heart for all this lovely stuff: Wishlist
5. Awesome signatures and gifts I’ve received.

Stalk Me?

Email: nikkole@eternalamour.com
AIM: xofadedshadows
YIM: paradisedreams00
MSN: eternalamour@live.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/eternalamour/
Daily Booth: http://dailybooth.com/nikkole/
Tumblr: http://eternalamour.tumblr.com/
DeviantArt: http://nikkole0730.deviantart.com/
Formspring.Me: http://www.formspring.me/nikkole

This blog includes “sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll‘. I swear. I curse. I bitch. I hate. I make sexual innuendos. This blog would be considered Rated M for Mature not Monkey. This blog is pure, uncensored emotions, thoughts, and opinions. This is my life; I chose the life I live. If you have a problem with anything I say here, you have two options: 1. Click on the [X] located in the top right hand corner of your browser. 2. Do yourself a favor and press CTRL+F4 — There is no sense to change me for I am who I am. I use this blog as a vice to vent all my built up emotion (which is a lot) and I don’t have it to please others. Please understand that.