I finally went through ALL my blog entries and wrote documentation of Matt’s disappearing acts. Oh joy! I’m going to copy them here, just so I have a record (incase something happens to my computer, I’m paranoid about that.) You guys get to see the bull shit I deal with. Oh yay.

September 4^th – 10^th 2006: Was over at Matt’s house and came home with an awful rash due to sitting in wet clothes that he had peed through. Matt didn’t have a change of clothes for him – so he let him sit in them.

September 14^th 2006: Matt said he was going to pick up Nickolas after his dentist appointment around 12:45pm. He never called, or showed up. Later, after a long argument he came and picked up Nickolas.

October 1^st 2006: Had a long debate with Matt about his disappearing from his son’s life. Coming in and out wasn’t an option. He never contacted child support about his new employer so we discussed that also. He wanted to sign away his parental rights, and asked me to set up a court hearing to do so.  (See Conversation Example #1)

October 30^th 2006: Matt was supposed to take Nickolas again, but never showed up and never called. He disappeared until December 06, 2006.

December 17^th, 2006: Matt took Nickolas over night for the first time in over 3 months.

December 18^th – February 16^th, 2007: Matt started taking Nickolas on a regular basis. It was only for a few hours every couple of days.

February 24^th, 2007: Matt asked if he could take Nickolas to Minnesota to visit the Mall of America when there was a massive blizzard coming. I told him no because I didn’t want him driving in it especially such a long way. He told me he’d pick up Nickolas that night, and never showed up.

March 01^st, 2007: Matt started taking Nickolas again.

March 07^th, 2007: He had picked up Nickolas to keep him for the weekend. Called to ask me something, when I didn’t answer the way he wanted me to, he came to my home. Knocked on the door, and pushed Nickolas in and left. After having an argument, he informed me that he didn’t feel like having Nickolas anymore because of what I had said.

March 25^th, 2007: Matt started doing things just to anger me. Today he had informed me that he was giving Nickolas energy drinks because they have vitamins in them.

March 2007 – December 2007: Matt is mostly out of Nickolas’ life at this point. He says he’s too busy to take him because all he does is work too much so his money can go to me. He’s seen him maybe 2-3 times during these months.

December 20^th, 2007: Matt begins to start seeing Nickolas again, because Nickolas is upset at his absence he buys him $300 worth of Power Rangers to make him happy and buy his love.

December 30^th, 2007: Matt and I have an argument over a dog. He disappears again.

January – February 1^st, 2008: Matt is not in the picture at all. He will not answer any phone calls, emails, or text messages.

February 1^st, 2008: Matt finds out he might have HIV, after a long discussion, I decided that it was in the best interest of Nickolas that he doesn’t go to his father’s house until we know 100% sure of what’s going on with these tests. After finding out that the tests were negative, I agree to have Nickolas see Matt again. (We only waited about two days before the tests came back) Matt came to pick up Nickolas at 7:30pm like he had said, Nickolas was ready to go, when Matt wouldn’t let him leave with him. He kept telling him that “Mommy doesn’t want me to see you.” Basically was playing games and trying to manipulate Nickolas into believing that I wouldn’t let him see him.  Matt then proceeds to ask our then four year old, “Do you want to come with Daddy?” After hearing yes, he doesn’t say anything, and just stands there refusing to leave. He made Nickolas repeat himself over 4 times before I called it quits on him asking.  After this Matt told Nickolas that because Mommy won’t let him take him, he was going on a vacation and he wasn’t going to see him for a while. Nickolas’ feelings were deeply hurt. Matt finally left and all Nickolas would say is, “My Daddy doesn’t love me anymore.”

February – July 2008: Matt is in and out of Nickolas’ life only taking him for 1 day every two weeks or not at all for a month.

July 10^th, 2008: Matt says he’s going to take Nickolas “in 10 minutes” and never shows up. Turns out he was arrested for DWI. Matt then picked up Nickolas that night.

July 10^th, 2008 – August 23^rd, 2008: Matt is taking Nickolas on a regular basis. All is fine.

August 23^rd, 2008: Matt got upset with me because I chose not to put Nickolas in four year old kindergarten because we weren’t able to do so. He also asked me to sign him up for 4 year old kindergarten a week before school started – it wasn’t possible to register and enroll him at that time. I explained to him that he is going to a preschool through his daycare center. He disappeared because he was mad at me.

August 30^th, 2008: We have major problems controlling Nickolas due to Matt not coming around or calling. Nickolas is angry/upset that his father isn’t in the picture this week and is taking it out on us. He constantly tells me “I miss my Dad. I wish he loved me back. I want to see him, why doesn’t he want to see me? What did I do wrong?”

September 10^th, 2008: Matt shows up randomly to take Nickolas. Turns out he bought our child another dog that he is ultimately unable to keep.

September 10^th, 2008 – October 20^th, 2008: Matt is taking Nickolas on a regular basis.

October 20^th, 2008: Matt begins to play games again. He will say he’s going to pick up Nickolas and then doesn’t show up or call. Then later, will come online and completely ignore any questions or statements I make to him.

Don’t hear from him at all until October 31^st, 2008.

October 31^st, 2008: Matt calls and asks to have Nickolas in “10 minutes”.

November 1^st – November 17^th, 2008: Matt is actively taking Nickolas a few times a week. He never giving more than 20-50 minutes’ notice on his arrival.

November 18^th, 2008: Matt gets his car repossessed so he refuses to pick up and/or answer any of Nickolas’ phone calls.

November 18^th – January 25^th, 2009: Matt is completely M.I.A refuses to answer any phone calls or messages Nickolas leaves for him. He hasn’t called, showed up, nothing. We haven’t heard a single word from him. This is the fifth substantial time that he has “disappeared” this year.

January – August 2009: Matt has been in and out of Nick’s life. He will go three – four weeks without seeing Nickolas, then call him out of nowhere to take him. In May, I stopped receiving child support.

August 2009: I’ve asked Matt to take Nickolas and buy him some items for school since he hasn’t paid any child support. He snapped at me that it wasn’t his responsibility. I left it at that.

September 2009 – Present: Matt hasn’t taken Nickolas. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with him taking Nickolas and driving him around the city since he has a suspended license (through child support enforcement) He hasn’t called or bothered. Finally, after a few weeks, I got a phone call from him demanding he sees Nickolas Saturday, October 3^rd, 2009, if I didn’t let him, he’d call the cops on me. I agree to let him take him. He says he’ll be there at 10am. By noon, on Saturday he finally called asking to see Nickolas. I inform him that he’s sick and he tells me “maybe next weekend”.

Written on Tuesday October 6th, 2009 at 1:50pm || Filed under: Parenting ||